The FriendZone (Verse 6)

offpicThe Characters in the Verse

Jason – a young lad

Brenda – a very beautiful daughter of a boss chick

Bossu – leader of the army of lost grown men

Giddy – a hopeless casualty of the friend zone

Kwaku – Jason’s friend

Delbina – Brenda’s loquacious friend

Giddy, Arc Angel, Ada, Rudolf – part of the army of lost men

The Story So Far…

Bossu, a short fat boy with pink pimples on his punctured nose parades himself a chief priest in matters peculiar to the heart over grown men such as Giddy, who himself became a casualty of the scriptures scribbled in sweat-soaked scrolls usually read out by Arc Angel under the command of Bossu. They sit, with and among themselves planning the next phase of a supposed redemption for Giddy.

On the other side, Jason’s heart was stolen by Brenda, whom he met for the first time at an eatery during a stormy weather. He managed to ask her out to his home and with the help of coloured candles and transparent coloured glasses, replicated the rainbow to help throw some light on his proposal. Brenda, blushing like a blue bird, asked for some time to chew on his words.

Now Delbina, her very much loquacious friend, persuades her to accept and take the chance with this poor boy but Kwaku, Jason’s good friend, is having a god laugh at him, for Brenda sees him as a brother.

We continue…

The weather that day favoured the Europeans who were living in the town. The sun, almost at its resting place, was struggling to pierce through the clouds that hid it from view. The rain showered gently and came down slowly like someone was taking his time to sprinkle grated cassava in the air. It was almost similar to snow. The atmospheric temperature detected was just a little short of 20oC, making it cold for a Ghanaian. But Brenda sat in it with a version of a phone looking similar to iPhone X, impatiently waiting and watching some kids nearby gallivanting dance to ‘One Corner’ which was coming from the pub nearby. She shook her head, surprised and mesmerised at how these ‘chingilingi’ kids yet to reach puberty could literally crack their waist as if they were angry at the gods.

Call her Brenda Papabi of the House Slay Queens, First of Her Name, the Untouchable, Daughter of a Boss Chick, an Epitome of Beauty, and Possessor of Very Fine Looks capable of making a Chief Priest say Praise the Lord instead of Hallelujah.

She wore a red dress that traced her striking figure, which tightened every loose end. The dress was about two inches above her knee, and being the lady that she is, she crossed her legs giving ‘konkonsa’ people just a little peek at ‘them’ fine thighs. Her face was free of any coloured powder and her hair had been cut short, and shaped like a girl getting ready for free SHS. Her nose is slightly pointed, and her hairy eyebrows looked beaten slightly by the showers. Her complexion was naturally toned and laid in-between dark and fair, what is called ‘chocolate’ in Ghana. If fairy tales were real, she would have been a god fairy with wings. In summary, the shawdy fine.

She took a long look at the time, and said, obviously being wearied for having to wait that long “Where is he? Or didn’t he get my message?” From behind a voice said “I am right here”

His hands touched her delicate shoulders and massaged the cartilages that attached to the scapula. She felt it.

“I’m sorry I’m late” said Jason as he took his sit next to his crush “it wasn’t intentional”.

“I thought you had given up so I was….” Brenda was cut off by Delbina who happened to be shouting ecstatically upon siting the two love birds. She shoved Brenda aside and sat between the ‘couple’. She began her monologue, asking and answering questions by herself.

“Eeii so Jason you won’t even ask of me? Well I’m ok. I’m there. Brenda has been telling me about you. So Brenda this is where you two meet eh? Well it’s a nice. By the way Jason you’re looking good. I like how your arms are looking: so strong and all that good stuff. Can I please hold it? Eeii and look at that chest, can I…” Brenda just had to jump in.

“Can you what exactly, Delbina? At least let him be. Choo.” Said Brenda.

“Eeei sorry oo Brenda, I didn’t know you were having a private time” said Delbina, rather cheekily.

“You dier just get up and continue going to where you were headed.” Brenda said to Delbina as she tried to lift her up from the bench.

“So you are sacking me because of Jason eh? Jason all the best eh” said Delbina as she was getting up “and don’t forget that abstinence is the best choice, but when it gets critical, always use a condom.”

“Aahh…Heerrr…be careful!” exclaimed Brenda as she tried to throw her hand at Delbina, but she was long gone. Delbina teasingly replied “I love you too.”

All this while, Jason was only smiling and uttered not a word. Brenda apologised for the ‘inconvenience’.

To be continued…

A Verse by Kotey

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