The FriendZone (Verse 5)


The moon was slightly past the middle of the night sky when Brenda was woken up by her best friend, Delbina. Her phone could just not stop buzzing. Brenda had earlier informed her of her ‘meeting’ with Jason. Delbina was of the view that it could not just be a meeting and that she better looked her best. In fact, Delbina took over to literally dress her up as if she had it was an interview she had to pass.

Delbina [sifting through the clothes in Brenda’s wardrobe]: You need to wear the right clothes. This is not just a meeting so stop pretending it is.

Brenda: Oh Delbina, c’mon, what else can it be? It is just…

Delbina [cutting her off]: It is just what? My friend, get serious. Anyways, where are the clothes we bought last week? I think you will look better in blue, nah red, or should we try pink?

Brenda [rolling her eyes]: See, I don’t want to over think this.

Delbina: Well don’t worry. I will do that for you. Now get up and let’s try on some combination.

After some few moments of feeling reluctant, Benda finally got up, courtesy the constant pressure from her partner in crime. They tried on some few clothes with Delbina looking out for something she only knew but it had to do with her looking a bit ‘saucy’.

Now she’s managed to wake her up from her sleep and couldn’t wait for the morning before she got the details she wanted it there and then.

Delbina [sounding very eager and expectant]: So tell me, how did it go?

Brenda [feeling upset]: Delbina c’mon, it is 1 in the morning. Can’t it wait?

Delbina: Wait s3n? My friend open your eyes and let’s talk. Did he propose?

Brenda [now fully awake because of the question]: Ah, Delbina! Relax small eerr.

At that moment they laughed a bit and Brenda continued

Brenda [now smiling and rubbing her teddy bear]: Weeelll…he sort of did.

Delbina: What do you mean by sort of? It’s either he did or didn’t.

Meanwhile, some two miles away from Brenda’s end, Jason’s long-time friend, Kwaku, has visited to find out the update on what has happened. Their conversation is in pidgin English.

Kwaku: So charley the thing how did it go?

Jason: Charley the shawdy dey see me as a brother oo.

Kwaku [laughing heartlessly]: Oh boy, so she zone you that oo. Abi you know?

Jason [not seeing it as funny]: Charley shun dey fool. This be serious matter.

Kawku: So what you talk am?

Jason: Charley me dier I flow am my mind. I talk am say, we don’t have the same parents so we no fi be siblings but my feelings for am be very real.

Kwaku: Bossu that [starts to laugh again]

Back to Delbina and Brenda

Brenda: Well he did say something like that but I don’t really know.

Delbina: But he’s a nice guy: gentle, respectable and calm. It’s not like he’s forcing himself on you, is he? He only wants to love you so just give him a chance.

Brenda: Well that’s the thing, I am not so sure. And I think I want to think about it for a while.

Delbina: What is there to think about? You like him also so what are you waiting for? I hope you didn’t tell him you see him as a friend?

Brenda [giggling]: Well not that. But I remember I called him Brother Jason and he didn’t like it.

Delbina: Brenda don’t let him give up oo. Yoo.

Brenda: Well I told him to give me some time.

Delbina: So what if something happens?

Brenda: Then it means it was never meant to happen because what will be, will be

Delbina: What will be will never be, if you don’t work towards it. Even miracles need faith and magic needs an absent mind to play tricks on.

 To be continued…

A Verse by Kotey.



The FriendZone (Verse 4)


As Jason sat in front of Brenda and hearing her address him with the title that many a boy feared, he immediately advised himself to free himself with immediate effect from this ‘bondage’ for he may never see his efforts ‘materialise’.

Jason [speaking with the feeling of someone who has been hurt]: “Brother sɛn? Since when did our parents become the same and who even said they were related?”

Brenda: Oh naa you don’t get it I…

Jason interrupts her gently, raising a hand in the air.

Jason: Please don’t throw in the “I see your as a brother” thing. That will be more hurtful.

All the candles that lighted the room and threw a light of rainbow began to seem to him like hell fire for to him he was nearing the gate of Hades.

Jason [with some calmness and coolness in voice]: Brenda (grabbing her hand in the process), my heart is stacked with suppressed love ready to gush out like a fountain for you. If I were your brother this love cannot be felt this way and, moreover, heaven knew a day like this would come, that was why my mother is not married to your dad. I’m ready to pour all of me to have a walk with you to the altar.

At this very moment, John Legend’s ‘All of Me’ slid in from the home theatre as if a DJ was paying attention to their conversation. It made her blush. She was in fact impressed and gave in a smile.

Meanwhile, Arc Angel has taken over after Giddy finished his tale of ‘disappointment’ in his love attempt. He brought in notes taken by Rudolf in one of the lectures delivered by Bossu at one of their ‘lectures’ on how to ‘deal’ with the friend zone. Attention has never been gained at any of their meetings like today. After all, they had a victim to serve as a source of motivation as well as a warning to anyone who will venture to anything of a sort.

Giddy was made to sit in front. Bossu blamed him for not being able to learn from the series of ‘lectures’ delivered and asked him to pay critical attention and ask questions when necessary for further explanation. Arc Angel’s stomach seemed to have gained ‘weight’ for he kept drinking on the palm wine that was kept in the gourd for visitors. He began:

Arc Angel [wiping his reading glasses before putting it on]: The friend zone is like a maze. You can run a thousand miles without coming out and may end up being eternally trapped in it. To fight this enemy, the best way is to first come out of the net and free yourself from the ‘tag’.

First step is to cease contact with her for a while, usually not more than 48 hours but do not ignore her. Still respond to her calls and text messages. Act normally as always and do not give the hint that something is wrong.

Next, place in a random call to make sure you are still in her mind. Pretend you are just checking up her and find out how things are. Do not over do it. The call should not last long.

Ada [raises his hand to ask a question]: How long should this be?

Bossu: Try making it under 60 seconds.

Arc Angel [continuing with his lecture]: You next move will be to get close with her girlfriends, the best ones she has. You know why? When she sees you with them, they will talk about you to her or she will be forced to ask of you from them. It is a sure bunker, even the gods know this.

When all is said done now is the time to act. Surprise her with a visit. Remember she already knows how you feel about her and she will remember how she sent you away. Talk about everything else but the ‘topic’. The awkwardness will let it come out by itself.

But if after all is said and done there is still no sign of improvement, then beloved, your case is a ‘special edition’ and it is covered in Volume 2 of this script which will be delivered in our next meeting.

Back to the two love birds trapped within their emotions under an artificially made rainbow in a room smelling of Glade air freshener.

Brenda did not know what to say next. Jason had been too plain and she felt she may also be losing out in what there is to discover. She has never come across a guy so gentle and who happens to pour out his heartfelt desire. She felt cornered, and ‘trapped’ within what she feels.

Brenda: At least can I think about it?

Jason [with some persistence] : If your answer will be a no then please let’s try it out first.

Brenda [speaking with the voice of someone who may have been defeated]: Are you sure about this?

Jason [with his eyes directly staring in her’s]: I’m as sure like how salvation is sure in Christ.

To be continued…

A Verse by Kotey.

Good day.

Truth Has No Enemy


Truth is, truth has no enemy, just people who will not want to hear it. It may be that, it will expose them on what they intend doing and people will know them for who they really are.

However, in speaking the truth, one must add wisdom. Time and place is very crucial in telling of the truth. Employing the how, what and when, will make one’s communication more respected. This is because, one will not let the truth to cause more devastation to the recipient or to whom it may affect. Take for instance when someone loses a loved one. The person is first ‘cornered’ into the right mood and the sad news is released gently.

An African proverb says “The speaker of truth has no friends.” This because although the truth frees the carrier of it, it also burdens the one to whom it is directed. Indeed, truth has no enemy, and although people may hate you for telling it, they will always remember you for being truthful, and that, my friend, is truth.

My name is Kotey.

The FriendZone (Verse 3)


A strong gaze from both eyes as one was looking more than intently into the pupil of the other. It is the strangest feeling yet. Then he moved his eyes to gaze at her lips. She caught the revelation and gawked at his. Then their stare returned to each other’s eyes again. This time for five and half seconds. You could hear their breath if only the old woman had kept quiet. He took a step closer. She inched nearer. He leaned in to close the gap. She lifted her chin to close-up the space. Their lips were a millimetre apart and he opened his, slowly. She loosened hers, gently. Then Jason closed his eyes. Brenda did same and…

Flashback: Two hours and fifteen minutes ago

Immediately Jason took his first step, thunder struck simultaneously. It hit him like a hurricane, with his heart pounding very fast and loud. You could tell he became confused as he didn’t know what to do next. Brenda herself was also caught unawares by this thunderous ‘clap’ of unseen divine hands. She thought: “Is this a sign?” But the poor love birds were so engulfed in their feelings that they forgot it was rather a sign for the torrential rains about to fall.

The sky became dark like a black crow within seconds and the rains proceeded it.

The wind shattered the flower-pot that lay by the window where Brenda sat to the floor. This made her panic as more things started to fly through the window. Jason rushed her end to close the window. Little did he know that Brenda had also made an unconscious move to grab the window. Jason’s hand got there last with his on top of hers. She felt it. He caressed it.

Jason: Sorry, I didn’t mean to.

Brenda: Don’t worry. It’s fine. Thanks for wanting to help me out.

Jason: My pleasure.

This was followed by a minute of awkward silence as they both stole glances off each other amidst petty smiles. After twenty minutes of strong rain, it came to a gentle stop as if someone took his time to turn off a tap. It was this first encounter that led to many things to come.

In the meantime, our army of lost grown men still lingering and lost in the wilderness of love were still been entertained by Giddy.

Giddy [trying to man up]: So after I saw the name ‘Studies Teacher’, she tried to coerce me into believing that it was some sexy pet name she had given me.

Ada [Interjecting Giddy]: Where ‘pet’ means?

Giddy [responding to Ada]: Only God knows. She doesn’t know from where I come from people eat cats.

laughter erupts from the group.

He now shakes his head as he continues his story. His tears are now dry.

Giddy: So she attempted to place her hands over my shoulder and lean in to me. I just shoved her off and told her that “I never saw you as my student. How could you do this to me?” She was like “I can explain. Just hear me out” But I was already through the door.

To be continued…

Finding the Cause

the_cause.jpgUsually our first resort is to find someone to blame when something goes wrong rather than to find the cause of the problem. What this creates is a moment that first wastes time and also is likely to lead to people hating on each other.

When the cause of an issue is identified, we can immediately prescribe the needed remedy. As time can be equated to money, we must learn to attack the matter where it is most relevant before in order not to waste more of it.

By addressing the cause, we are likely not to repeat such mistakes again. Blaming someone does not solve the problem. It tends to shift responsibility whiles the problem still persists.

After the issue is resolved, one can later have a chat with whoever may have caused the problem and planning how to avert future occurrence. This will help in building one another in a more cohabited environment.

My name is Kotey.

Good day.